When my heart was grieved and my spirit embittered, I was senseless and ignorant; I was a brute beast before you. Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory. Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. (Psalm 73:21-26 NIV)
If only I had just desired you only Lord...
Tuesday, October 14, 2014
Wednesday, April 30, 2014
Prayer power
My dear husband asked of God to let baby "stick" to him more and it seems to be that way. John seems to prefer daddy playing with him and putting him to bed when back at AMK home. At yishun with me, my parents and chunai, he's ok. It's a relief for me as I get to rest. Hahhah
In the beginning when John first came to us, I had his timings and stuff planned out and wanted it done accordingly. It was trying and futile at times. I didn't really enjoy having John and was struggling to accept him. Until I placed my plans into God's hands and start letting go of control that I began embracing motherhood and time with John.
There was this one night that enlightened me and had me facing my problems of control. I made sure he was sleeping well and in good condition before I left the room. But when I woke up at the next timing to feed him and wake him I realize his face and neck were covered in vomit!! Apparently he had threw up in his sleep!! Thank God that baby did not choke on own vomit -- some do and they suffocated and died.
Every night I started to pray that our Heavenly Father grant John peace and rest, ease of digestion, keep the milk down, ability to pass gas smoothly and to preserve his life. He sleeps better chest down which had a risk of him suffocating himself if he were to face flat down and wasn't able to turn the head side ways to breath. Knowing full well that no matter what precaution I take, I can't be there to turn John's head and ensure that he's breathing every second. I can only place my trust in Him to preserve his life. And God is faithful and merciful indeed. He gives John longer and longer periods of rest so I can rest in peace too.
Every day I pray that baby grows up well and healthy. That he grows in health, stature, delights in people and God. And his growth and developments are notable. Glory be to God only for He's able to bring to completion things regarding John for John's days are already noted in His book of life.
During John's first week of life, he developed very high levels of jaundice and had to be admitted to hospital for two days. It was heart wrenching to see his eyes covered up and placed in the tub/bed under uv light while he cried his lungs out. Because of my thyroid condition, John had to have blood tests done too. He would cry and scream when they had to prick him to draw his blood. How my heart ached for him. Only God can give him the comfort and security when he's away from us and going through the ordeals. We can only hold and hug him and pat him to calm him down. The rest was in His hands.
Glory and praise be to God!
In the beginning when John first came to us, I had his timings and stuff planned out and wanted it done accordingly. It was trying and futile at times. I didn't really enjoy having John and was struggling to accept him. Until I placed my plans into God's hands and start letting go of control that I began embracing motherhood and time with John.
There was this one night that enlightened me and had me facing my problems of control. I made sure he was sleeping well and in good condition before I left the room. But when I woke up at the next timing to feed him and wake him I realize his face and neck were covered in vomit!! Apparently he had threw up in his sleep!! Thank God that baby did not choke on own vomit -- some do and they suffocated and died.
Every night I started to pray that our Heavenly Father grant John peace and rest, ease of digestion, keep the milk down, ability to pass gas smoothly and to preserve his life. He sleeps better chest down which had a risk of him suffocating himself if he were to face flat down and wasn't able to turn the head side ways to breath. Knowing full well that no matter what precaution I take, I can't be there to turn John's head and ensure that he's breathing every second. I can only place my trust in Him to preserve his life. And God is faithful and merciful indeed. He gives John longer and longer periods of rest so I can rest in peace too.
Every day I pray that baby grows up well and healthy. That he grows in health, stature, delights in people and God. And his growth and developments are notable. Glory be to God only for He's able to bring to completion things regarding John for John's days are already noted in His book of life.
During John's first week of life, he developed very high levels of jaundice and had to be admitted to hospital for two days. It was heart wrenching to see his eyes covered up and placed in the tub/bed under uv light while he cried his lungs out. Because of my thyroid condition, John had to have blood tests done too. He would cry and scream when they had to prick him to draw his blood. How my heart ached for him. Only God can give him the comfort and security when he's away from us and going through the ordeals. We can only hold and hug him and pat him to calm him down. The rest was in His hands.
Glory and praise be to God!
Tuesday, April 29, 2014
Two months two days old.
Wow! It's been a long time since I last posted something on the blog. So many things have happened between these few months. I've given birth to our baby boy -- Tan Xuan Yi John 陈宣義 and he's currently two months two days old. It's gonna be a naggy post as I'm gonna record down all the things that happened which I can remember.
During the first month when John was just delivered, I was super tired out easily. The waking up every two to three hours was super draining. Breast feeding was draining physically, emotionally and mentally. At times when he couldn't latch on well, the nipples hurt and it's even more painful than delivery I'd say. End up pumping out breast milk for John.
After the fourth week, his appetite suddenly grew!! He was drinking near to four ounce from his previous two ounces. I was quite amazed! It was a trying time as he kept crying and we couldn't figure out that he was hungry and didn't have enough to drink.
It was taxing for everyone. We lost our cool at each other at times as we adjusted to the changes. It was a struggle but God is merciful and wonderful. We managed to figure out John and his habits. We had to be each other's support. Most importantly, we learn to love each other more and more, making self sacrifices, having more gentleness and patience, and giving encouragement. Thank God for my wonderful husband. I love him deeply and I know that he loves me much too. We are not perfect but we learn to suit each other more and more.
A little while back, I prayed for God to grant my husband more patience with our son. And I saw his changes in the upcoming weeks. I asked him what caused him to change and he shared with me the book Desiring God and the part he read about love. How amazing is God at moulding our characters and answering prayers?!
After having John, my prayer life has grown and I'm learning to place my trust in our faithful Lord more and more. Shall blog in details more. Husband say I'm so lo so at this point of time. Asking me to summarize in 300 words. Hahahaha.
When John was two months one day old, it was the first time he slept through the night from 9.30pm till 8.15am. He woke up hungry with tummy growling at 5.20am, fed and went back to sleep till 8.15am. Praise The Lord for great rest and peaceful sleep!! John woke up in a very good mood and was all smiles.
When he was two months two days old today, he held a toy in his hands for quite a while!! Yeah!! Our lovely son is growing up and his habits and routines are starting to stabilize. Praise The Lord for everything!! Health, growth, feeding, bowel movements, emotions, rest, clothes to wear, toys to play with, material things needed... Safety, protections, his every single breath needed to live and breathe. Thank you Lord for everything!!
After having John, I am fully able to understand what it means that God is in control of e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g. Truly only God is able! How great is our God?!!!
During the first month when John was just delivered, I was super tired out easily. The waking up every two to three hours was super draining. Breast feeding was draining physically, emotionally and mentally. At times when he couldn't latch on well, the nipples hurt and it's even more painful than delivery I'd say. End up pumping out breast milk for John.
After the fourth week, his appetite suddenly grew!! He was drinking near to four ounce from his previous two ounces. I was quite amazed! It was a trying time as he kept crying and we couldn't figure out that he was hungry and didn't have enough to drink.
It was taxing for everyone. We lost our cool at each other at times as we adjusted to the changes. It was a struggle but God is merciful and wonderful. We managed to figure out John and his habits. We had to be each other's support. Most importantly, we learn to love each other more and more, making self sacrifices, having more gentleness and patience, and giving encouragement. Thank God for my wonderful husband. I love him deeply and I know that he loves me much too. We are not perfect but we learn to suit each other more and more.
A little while back, I prayed for God to grant my husband more patience with our son. And I saw his changes in the upcoming weeks. I asked him what caused him to change and he shared with me the book Desiring God and the part he read about love. How amazing is God at moulding our characters and answering prayers?!
After having John, my prayer life has grown and I'm learning to place my trust in our faithful Lord more and more. Shall blog in details more. Husband say I'm so lo so at this point of time. Asking me to summarize in 300 words. Hahahaha.
When John was two months one day old, it was the first time he slept through the night from 9.30pm till 8.15am. He woke up hungry with tummy growling at 5.20am, fed and went back to sleep till 8.15am. Praise The Lord for great rest and peaceful sleep!! John woke up in a very good mood and was all smiles.
When he was two months two days old today, he held a toy in his hands for quite a while!! Yeah!! Our lovely son is growing up and his habits and routines are starting to stabilize. Praise The Lord for everything!! Health, growth, feeding, bowel movements, emotions, rest, clothes to wear, toys to play with, material things needed... Safety, protections, his every single breath needed to live and breathe. Thank you Lord for everything!!
After having John, I am fully able to understand what it means that God is in control of e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g. Truly only God is able! How great is our God?!!!
Monday, November 18, 2013
In the moment.
Off the top of my head, what is most important to me right at this moment?
I thought of health and baby.
Why would it be so? Because it is the current thing that's happening right now. I can feel it, I am experiencing it. I'm in the moment.
Similarly, am I in the moment with Christ? Lord help me to be sensitive to you and constantly be in the moment with you...
I thought of health and baby.
Why would it be so? Because it is the current thing that's happening right now. I can feel it, I am experiencing it. I'm in the moment.
Similarly, am I in the moment with Christ? Lord help me to be sensitive to you and constantly be in the moment with you...
Saturday, October 26, 2013
first movements.
Just to note another one of the firsts...
a few nights ago was the night we first felt your movements... to me it felt quite weird.. uncomfortable..?? awkward when it moved inside my body. its quite goosebumpy.... =S
but he seemed to be pleased. haha. grinning and grinning.
a few nights ago was the night we first felt your movements... to me it felt quite weird.. uncomfortable..?? awkward when it moved inside my body. its quite goosebumpy.... =S
but he seemed to be pleased. haha. grinning and grinning.
Tuesday, September 24, 2013
Grandparents-In-Law
I'm really blessed to have two elderly looking out for me, my husband and my home.
Even though at times they get on my nerves and do their weird kinda stuff which I can't stand... But I'm learning to get along with them.
On 15 October, they'll both be going overseas for two months to visit one of their children and his family. TWO MONTHS. Who's gonna prepare breakfast, lunch and dinner? Who's gonna help with the house chores and cleaning. Who's gonna do the nagging of remember this and that? No one...
So my dear grandma in law started reminding me of what to do and what to eat like the chicken essence, where she keeps the teh, oats, dry goods, juice, etc -- I know where they are even though I don't prepare them ok.
Just felt really blessed. Thank God for my grandparents-in-law. God bless them with good health and energy to enjoy the holiday trip and future great grand child(ren).
Even though at times they get on my nerves and do their weird kinda stuff which I can't stand... But I'm learning to get along with them.
On 15 October, they'll both be going overseas for two months to visit one of their children and his family. TWO MONTHS. Who's gonna prepare breakfast, lunch and dinner? Who's gonna help with the house chores and cleaning. Who's gonna do the nagging of remember this and that? No one...
So my dear grandma in law started reminding me of what to do and what to eat like the chicken essence, where she keeps the teh, oats, dry goods, juice, etc -- I know where they are even though I don't prepare them ok.
Just felt really blessed. Thank God for my grandparents-in-law. God bless them with good health and energy to enjoy the holiday trip and future great grand child(ren).
Wednesday, September 18, 2013
Is It Alive?
Day by day just past like that... Next check up is on 24th Sept. So fast again.
*Chi Ching* money gone...
It is the only time where we can be sure that it's growing normally and healthily. A time to put my mind to ease. Else just seems to be living normally each day nowadays. Realize that I seem to get headache more often if I'm tired or working my body too much without rest? Body signal that I need rest eh?
Anyway.... This check up will most likely be able to tell the gender of baby. Time to rack our brains for baby names.
Don't feel the excitement like some other mothers to be are at stocking up new stuff for baby or maternity wear etc.. Find it such a waste of money and impractical. Sigh. Don't care enough or what??
Dear baby, don't get it wrong. We do care for you and wonder about you. But splurging on these are like so....... -_-
Wonder when will I start to feel the excitement and looking forwardness towards you... Or is it that I'm still struggling to come to terms with the changes I need to face in the future?
*Chi Ching* money gone...
It is the only time where we can be sure that it's growing normally and healthily. A time to put my mind to ease. Else just seems to be living normally each day nowadays. Realize that I seem to get headache more often if I'm tired or working my body too much without rest? Body signal that I need rest eh?
Anyway.... This check up will most likely be able to tell the gender of baby. Time to rack our brains for baby names.
Don't feel the excitement like some other mothers to be are at stocking up new stuff for baby or maternity wear etc.. Find it such a waste of money and impractical. Sigh. Don't care enough or what??
Dear baby, don't get it wrong. We do care for you and wonder about you. But splurging on these are like so....... -_-
Wonder when will I start to feel the excitement and looking forwardness towards you... Or is it that I'm still struggling to come to terms with the changes I need to face in the future?
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